Who is Talking?

Like checking my motives, it’s really important for me to recognize who is talking or thinking in particular situations. What I mean by that is we are all prone to succumbing to emotion from time to time. Something that’s aggravating, depressing, or makes us feel overwhelmed or upset, is bound to happen to some degree.

What’s really important to me is to take some time whether it be in text, face to face, or email or whatever to pause and recognize who is actually talking or writing that email or text. Is it really me speaking? Or are there overtones or subtleties of frustration, fear, jealousy, annoyance, or anger? Is compassion present? Am I a being kind? 

Here’s what usually happens, when it isn’t me speaking when it is one of these negative emotions (this is hardest to control when something just happened or it happens within the conversation I’m responding to) I need to take a moment to recognize that.

This is exceedingly hard to do, especially when the wound is freshest. One of the biggest things meditation, writing, and taking regular personal inventory has done for me is sometimes, definitely not all the time, but hopefully much of the time it allows me a buffer time where I don’t have to react to situations. I can regroup and allow myself to speak over all the other loud noises (emotions) bouncing around in my head.

Though I will be the first to admit I need to do better with this and this is the true testing ground for the way I want to live my life, and how I actually am. One of the most valuable lessons my dad ever taught me was to live by example, do as I do not as I say.