Welcome to one of my biggest problems. I think in terms of
looking inward in relationships or friendships I realize one of my biggest
obstacles to growth is being vulnerable. I think as much as I talk about
knowing who I am and being myself all the time no matter who I am in front of
and being outgoing I still struggle on a deeper level with vulnerability (maybe
this blog will help).
I think it’s definitely due to ego, fear, and these strange
unreal manifestations the mind comes up with. What I mean by that is letting
people around you know how you feel, or expressing yourself openly with no
thought of reaction or purpose is so ridiculously awesome, but it is also a
huge challenge for me.
As much as I am outgoing when I get a bit deeper I am also a
bit reserved. Not with my opinions (clearly) but with putting myself out there
to be vulnerable.
I think it’s a guy thing. I think too it’s a mixed
understanding about what constitutes looking weak or strong (which literally
every guy thinks about). Nobody likes an over sharer (especially when you don’t
know the person well). For me it’s just being conscious to not play it cool all
the time take some risks and put myself out there.
There’s a strange liberation in making yourself
vulnerable.
Actually if I look back at
some of the best things that have happened to me in many aspects of my life its
all due to putting myself out there to be vulnerable.
Reminder to self: do that more.
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